Sailor Moon Says!
Season 1
(Episodes 9 to 16)
Welcome to Sailor Moon Says: Season 1! These are the oldest episodes of "Sailor Moon Says!" They contain only a select few heads, and don't really have an on-going plot. But I hope you enjoy them despite these facts! Because of the shorter episode lengths, I've condensed eight onto a page. I also didn't attach episode titles until long after the episodes' original airings. This page contains episodes nine through sixteen. Now run away.
Starring...
Lita Amy Serena Raye Mina
Molly Luna Alan Melvin
Episode 9: "Cinco de Mayo"
Cinco de Mayo! Let's do the Mambo! Mambo-mambo-mambo! Mambo-mambo-mambo! Aye Curumba! Is that even Spanish? I don't know. Oh, well, does it matter? I guess not! Mambo-mambo-mambo! Cinco-de-Mayo! Cool! Mambo-mambo-mambo! Mambo-mambo-mambo! If you haven't guessed it already, they are excited because of Cinco De Mayo and because of no school on Monday, but little do they know! *Giggle* Heehee! I mean, little do they know that they have not only entered a world of day and night, but of might! They have entered... the "Lunar Eclipse Zone"! Doo-doo-doo-doo. Doo-doo-doo-doo! Told you she's been spending too much time in front of her computer! Hey, Amy, care to join us? Why? Are we broken apart? *Giggle* I find it hard to sing without music! No prob, Amy! Molly, can you toss me a sombraro, please! Catch! What do you need that for? Mambo-mambo-mambo! It's a magic sombraro! Let's see: tacos! Ames, care for a taco? Sure! Thanks! *Chomp* *Crunch* Dith ith vewy thaythdy! Mambo-mambo-mambo! Chocolate candies... chili... golf ball... a rose! I wonder if it's from Darien...? Here it is: my cellular phone! *Chomp* Whud's dat fur? *Crunch* Hi, Alan, think your band can play at my pre-Cinco De Mayo party? I can sing with you! That isn't necessary? You have enough singers today? Oh, cool! I can scarf 'til I barf instead! So you can come? Yay! Bye! Hey, everybody, Alan and the Cardigans are coming! Alan?!? Yay!! Where's the chili? A tennis racket? A rabbit! Here, catch Molly! Oomph! Pocket dictionary... Pocket thesaurus... Pocket stegosaurus... Transformation pen... Crescent moon wand... Sky Dancers tiara! Moon tiara! Magic-magic-magic! Mambo-mambo-mambo! We're here! I touched their limo! I touched their limo! Eeeeeee!! Mini-computer... Backstage pass for July 5th, 1985 concert! I'll have to make sure I don't get grounded that weekend! Autograph book... Autograph book... Autograph book... Deju-vu book... Guitar... Where's the chili? Didn't she take out the chili when she was trying to find the cellular phone? That stack of junk from the somraro is getting pretty big! I wonder how she fits it all in there.. Hi, adoring, ballistic fans! Molly, what are you doing with a rabbit? Hi, Alan! Can we have your autograph? Where is my autograph book? I swear I'm not lip-synching! The chili might be getting chilly by now. Just get Lita to cook another batch, okay, Serena? A packet of Kool-aid. A band-aid. A kit of first-aid. A box of raid. My allowance? I did get paid! A Lita... Wait, Lita?? What were you doing in my sombraro? I was cooking chili! Along with Doritos and bean dip! Oh, thank you, Lita!! I think she took out your autograph books when she took out Amy's mini-computer. I forgot my guitar! And Mina forgot her keyboard! Oh, no! I took out a guitar earlier. You'll find it behind me near the books! I'll try to find a keyboard in my sombraro. Any specific brand, Mina? I'd prefer a Yamaha, please. Okay, Bunny, stay in this corner and think about what you've done! Here, I found a Yahama! Along with a french horn and a surfboard! I found it! What did it do? I caught it eating some of Lita's carrot dip! You should try some, Melvin. They're good for your eyes! Really? Sure! Ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses? I don't think Lita's ever read Alice in Wonderland. That doesn't count! There were talking cards in that story, too! That could happen! When pigs fly! I just found a deck of talking cards! Whoa! A herd of flying pigs just left my sombraro! Ready, Mina? Ready, Alan! *Ta-do-ta-do-ta-do!* Mambo-mambo-mambo! mambo-mambo-mambo! Mambo-mambo-mambo! mambo-mambo-mambo! Sailor Moon Says: The reason Raye wasn't here is because she hates fun! Well, happy Cinco de Mayo!
Originally aired: Saturday, May 3, 1997
Episode 10: "Finding an Episode"
Hi, people! Guess who Amy found! Who? Guess who Amy found! Who? Guess whom I found! Who? Me! I thought Gemini6Ice couldn't find a picture of Luna. Well, he did! So Gemini6Ice found her, not Amy, right? She does have a point. No, she doesn't! I'm the smartest! We interrupt this for: Lita's Hit Re-views! Let's listen, girls! Last week was the first annual "Sailor Moon Says" Cinco de Mayo party! And it was a blast! You should have been there! Also, go see the newest movie "Volcano" because you'll have a hot time! Ever wonder why Melvin has spirals in his glasses? That's because he went to see the movie "Breakdown"! Next time, I'll be reviewing ABC's 3-D week as well as cheese! See ya! Continuous Hit Re-views! Lita's Re-views! That was fun! I'm outee! Told you she hated fun! Who's Fun? Everyone but her! This is short! Maybe we should tell them about the Alan and the Cardigans surprise! We can't! Why not? Because then it wouldn't be a surprise! Oh. Well, bye, everybody! Sailor Moon says: Want to know what the surprise is? Gemini6Ice is going to-- Ow! Stop pinching me, Raye! Stop it! Stop it! Sailor Mars Says: Heehee!
Originally aired: Saturday, May 10, 1997
Episode 11: "She Needs Backup"
Fighting evil by moonlight... Melvin... Winning love by daylight... Melvin? Always ready for a real fight... Melvin! She is the one named Sailor Moon! Melvin!! She will never turn her back on a friend... Melvin!!! She is always there to de-fend... Melvin!!! She is the one named Sailor...... Melvin!!!! What? I need to talk to you. Okay, let's talk! No. Why not? Because you would rather sing! I've stopped singing, and I'm ready to talk! Well, you didn't want to talk to me until I insisted! I didn't know you wanted to talk to me! That doesn't mean you can't! Help me, somebody! I'll help you! Because, I am... Sa-a-ilor Mo-o-oll-lly!! Doo-wop, doo-wop! And I am here.. To-o-o save the da-a-ay! Doo-wop, doo-wop! 'Cause I am Sailor Moll-y! She is Sailor Molly! Shooby-dooby... shooby-dooby-dooby! >He-ere to save the day! Shooby-dooby... shooby-dooby-dooby! Thanks, chorus! *Snap* Take five! Oh, thank you, Sailor Molly! Serena is threatening me with stubbornness! Melvin, oh Melvin, please let down your hair! Huh? Teehee! Sorry, I just always wanted to say that! Moon, Crystal, Power!! I am... I'm waiting... I forgot to hire backup singers! Drat! And I have all the heads as my chorus! Except for Raye and Luna... Raye? I won't sing for you, ditz-head! Luna? I don't sing backup! Molly, Hair-Berrets, Surround!! No! Argh!! You haven't heard the last of me!! Ha! Molly-dusted! *Snap* She was... Molly dusted!! Doo-wop! Molly dusted!! You're my hero! Let's get married! Yes! What about the Sailor Moon says? She's gone now, so someone has to say it! We'll take care of that! Sailor Mercury, Sailor Jupiter, and Sailor Venus say: Shooby-doo-wop-wop! Sha-bam-bam-boom!
Originally aired: Saturday, May 17, 1997
Episode 12: "Sailor Rangers"
Today, we'll do something different. But we do something different every day, Alan! Here's your sheet music! Oh. Ready, Alan and the Cardigans? Yep! Then let's start! Go! Sailor Moon Turbo! Go! Mighty engines roar, Sailor Moon Turbo! Lunar-charged for more! Go! Sailor Moon Turbo! Go! Facing her greatest foes, Sailor Moon Turbo! While wearing pre-tty bows! Go! Sailor Moon Turbo! Go! Goooo-ooo-ooo-ooooo... Sailor Moon Turbo! Go! Go-oo-oo... Sailor Moon Turbo, Go!!! That was great, guys! Thanks! Yeah! I have to go get changed for my part on the show! See ya! Mercury Blaster Turbo Power! Mars Lightining Turbo Power! Jupiter Thunder Turbo Power! Where's Mina? Sorry I'm late! Venus Star Turbo Power! I forgot my transformation command! Oh, well! Sailor Molly Says: Rotten eggs don't taste good!
Originally aired: Saturday, May 24, 1997
Episode 13: "Pandamonium"
The panda bears is coming! Oh no! The panda bears is coming! I'm scared of that! Wa-aah! Oh, shut-up Serena, you're annoying me! *Sniffle* Th-th-the p-pan-d-da... *Sniffle* b-bears is c-coming! Wa-ah! Shouldn't that be, "The panda bears are coming"? The panda bears is coming! Can't you say anything besides that, Melvin? Yes! Like what? Yes! Anything else? Yes! Like what? The panda bears is coming! *Sigh* *Double sigh* *Triple sigh* *Quadruple sigh* Amy, what comes after "Quadruple"? Pentiple, I think... *Pentiple sigh* Oh, yeah? Amy, what's after "Pentiple"? Wah! The panda bears is coming! Wah! Hexiple, Septiple, Octiple, then I don't know what's next! I'm so cool! If you don't agree, you're a fool! Go to school! I have a pool! You are not, your berrets are snot, and when you stole, you got caught, 'cause I knew your plot! Steal my rhyme? Give me a dime! It's about time, peice of slime! Don't call me that, you little rat; I'm finished with this chat, so go find a cat! Um, the panda bears is coming! Melvin, that you've already said. Serena's dead, she's got a big head, and it's full of lead! No, I mean look! Run! Aaaarrrgghhh!! They're as big as houses! The panda bears is here! My head is intellect; what rhymes with that? Molly, Serena! Watch out! Owwwwwwww! The panda bears is stepping on them!! Ailor Oon Ays: On't et anda ears ep on ou, ause it eally urts! hat id ou ay? Sailor Venus Says: *Kilople sigh!* (One-thousand. I borrowed Amy's mini-computer! Teehee!) No fair!
Originally aired: Saturday, May 31, 1997
Episode 14: "AOHell"
Hi. Just so you know, we are all chatting on AOL right now. Listen closely! LunaWhiskers: Wouldn't it be strange if I were a dog? ComputerDweeb475: ... Blonde81Ditz: Hi! I'm new here! Stats? MeatballFrog6: I'm a frog! *ribbit* Babe39: F/I'll live 4ever! Alien376: I'm dead, but I'm M. GurlyGirl4: Send me an Instant Mess. for fun! MeatballFrog6: An instant mess! Open my closet! Oh, I forgot, frogs don't have closets! *Ribbit!*
× (StudMuffin17) This is an Instant Mess.
× (StudMuffin17) GurlyGirl4? R U there?
FireFlirt: I'm bored. MeatballFrog6: Frog's don't live long. I'm only 1/F. GurlyGirl4: I'm not talking to StudMuffin17 because he sounds like a dweebmeister! Babe39: I am an immortal god!!! Alien376: I come from the planet Krypton! My brother is Kaleel!! Blonde81Ditz: I'm 18/F. Krypton45: Take me Alien376!!! MeatballFrog6: *Ribbit* LunaWhiskers: I'm not a cat using my master's computer to chat and pretend to be a human! FireFlirt: I love to melt stuff, specially the hose on the fire extinguisher! Alien376: Noo! I'm becoming weaker! XXX58: u j d s f j d s g f d j x y s f d s u t j 3 1 2 4 # % &9 v*® ·ß MeatballFrog6: Ribbit! FireFlirt: I can melt my hand, 2!! Cool! Blonde81Ditz: :):):):) Alien376: I'm dying! FireFlirt: My hand is on fire!! What's the number for 911? GurlyGirl4: All hot guys out there, send me an IM! StudMuffin17: All hot chicks send me an IM! Babe39: I have "talent"! MeatballFrog6 Says: This is AOL Chat room heck! I'm leaving!!!
Originally aired: Saturday, June 7, 1997
Episode 15: "Shadow"
Hi. Hi. Lo. Lo. *Chuckle* Serena, wanna play shadow? What's that? What's that? Oh. Oh. Lita, do you want to play shadow? Lita, do you want to play shadow? What is it? What is it? What is it? I'm playing it with Mina. I'm playing it with Mina. No! No! No! Amy, care to play shadow? Amy, care to play shadow? Amy, care to play shadow? No thank you. No thank you. No thank you. No thank you. Haha! Stop laughing, Raye! Stop laughing, Raye! I'll play shadow with Raye, whether she likes it or not! I'll play shadow with Raye, whether she likes it or not! Stop laughing, Raye! Stop laughing, Raye! I'll play shadow with Raye, whether she likes it or not! I'll play shadow with Raye, whether she likes it or not. What? Well, I have dibs on Mina! What? Well, I have dibs on Mina! What? Well, I have dibs on Mina! What? Well, I have dibs on Mina! What? Well, I have dibs on Mina! What? Well, I have dibs on Mina! What? Well, I have dibs on Mina! What? Well, I have dibs on Mina! What? Well, I have dibs on Mina! What? Well, I have dibs on Mina! This is boring! This is boring! This is boring! I agree! I quit! Me too! Me too! Me three! Me three! Me four! Let's watch T.V.! Yeah! What's on? Sailor Moon! A show about five girls who lip sync all their lives and can become superheroes with magical pens given to them by their leader's talking cat???? Yeah, it says cat... Oh, like THAT could happen! Whatta bunch of junk! Let's watch MAD T.V. All their stories are true! Yeah! Hey, I didn't now Dan Druff used head and shoulders!!! Sailor Moon Says: I don't believe in myself! I don't exist! Oh that's your excuse for all your mistakes!
Originally aired: Saturday, June 14, 1997
Episode 16: "When Authors Attack 2"
I went swimming today! But I tore your swimsuit, remember? I love summer vacation! *Sigh* At baseball games, people sit on me! Why do they do that, Sewena? Because she's a bleacher! I'm the only natural blonde here! What about Artemis? Well, she's a cat, and doesn't count! You mean, he, not she! If you say so, how should I know? Yeah, Luna, she's a dumb blonde! Blondes are not dumb! You're stupider than me and you aren't even a natural blonde! Good point. Hey, Macarena! I am not macaroni! So don't call me that! *Sigh* I love you, Darien! Ditto! What? Gemini6Ice put my head instead of Darien's there by mistake! She got erased again! Whew's thad bwaino, Amy, today? Mowwy, Staw, Powew! She's got computer class! But Serena's got no class! I'll save you from Sailor Molly! Melvin, Stinky Tuna-mayonnaise, Peanut-butter Pickles, and Sardines Sandwhich, Launch! Aaaarrrggghhh!! Hah! Look! Gemini6Ice is redrawing her again! Ah! I'm alive! Alive! She's always wanted to say that! He erased Mina too! Noooooo! How many times do we have to destroy that pencil?
How many times do we have to use the same plot?
Hi! Lita, come qui--- Luna! Go get Sailor Mercury! Amy? Get off that computer! Luna, I'm almost finished downloading this file! I've been at it for 20 days! Only ten more minutes! People are getting erased! Who cares? Now, leave me alone! Hey, what happened to my computer? Gemini6Ice erased it! Mercury, Star--he erased my pen! Watch out Amy! he's heading for your head! No! You erased Luna! All my cardians! I summon you! I'm here! Jupiter, Star, Power! Hey, he erased my tiara! How am I supposed to crash my thunder? My feet! The pain! Oh, the pain! Alan! It's getting too crowded! Stop them! I forgot I had ten spare decks of cardians in my jacket!! We're going in the shredder! Nooo!!!
Um. Hm. I guess I'll just start over...
Where is everbody? Sailor Moon Says: Nothing happened today.
Originally aired: Saturday, June 21, 1997
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