Season 1: Episodes 1 to 8

Starring...

Sailor Moon Says!

Season 1

(Episodes 1 to 8)


	Welcome to Sailor Moon Says: Season 1! These are the oldest episodes of "Sailor Moon Says!" They contain only a select few heads, and don't really have an on-going plot. But I hope you enjoy them despite these facts! Because of the shorter episode lengths, I've condensed eight onto a page. I also didn't attach episode titles until long after the episodes' original airings. This page contains episodes one through eight. Now run away.

Episode 1: "Somewhere to Begin"

Welcome! This is the all-new Sailor Moon Says! And we thought we would never come back on the air!

But we will! This June! Gemini6Ice's Birthday is that month! But DiC will hopefully have more episodes, and they just might not mutilate these!

I can jump so high!

Who are you?!?

I'm Lita. Don't you watch the show?

No, she doesn't have to.

Huh?

You should've read the old ones. *Sigh* She only watches the "Today on Sailor Moon" segments.

Oh.

Are we totally left out of the conversation, here?

Sorry. Hey, Serena, you've said lines. Amy has only spoken once!

Yeah, Serena!

Get her!!

Sailor Moon Says: Uh-oh! Bye!

Hey! Come back here!

Originally aired: Saturday, March 8, 1997

Episode 2: "Really Cool Superheroes"

Hey! Spring break is here! Now I can spend it with Darien!

Get a grip, Serena!!

Yeah, ditz-brain!

Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!! Raye, why do you have to be so mean?!?

Look you've made her cry, Raye! Apoligize! Now!

To avenge Serena's bawling, I am Sailor Molly....

And I am Tuxedo Melvin! And together we are...

Really cool superheroes!!

Mars, Star, Power!! Bwahaha! I am Sailor Mars, princess of flame, and on behalf of Mars, I will punish you! Mars, Celestial Fire, Surround!!

My bookbag!! You singed my bookbag!

Her bookbag! For that you will pay! Melvin, Really Hard Algebra Test!!

Eeeeeeekkkk!

I defeated her! See what happens when you don't study?

My hero!

Awwwwww... This is so romantic!

Sailor Moon Says: Study for algebra tests! You never know when Melvin will attack!

Tuxedo Melvin!!

Sorry!

That won't cut it! Spicy Shrimp Casserole!

Sailor Moon Says: Ewwwwwww!!

Originally aired: Saturday, March 15, 1997

Episode 3: "When Your Voice Changes"

Hello! I'm baaack!

So?

Pppbblltt!!

Ditz!

Hey, kids, did you know that during the first season my voice changes?

Strange. The same thing happened to Katsy in the second season!

What about that fat lady that stood on top of Sewena and me, on the fiwst episode?

That explains the footprints I found on my back that night.

Yep, they were strange.

What does that mean??

Uh-oh. Hey, my foot's in my mouth! Look! Hey, it tastes good, too!

Why, you!!!

Ow! Yeeeouch! Pain! Ouch! Ow! Sto-op! Ow!

No, she was only in one episode.

Oh.

Well, maybe it's-

I wore green on St. Patrick's Day!

Well, using your Sailor Scout costume is cheating! I only have red and purple on mine!

As I was saying, maybe this is all--

Ow!

This is all what, Amy?

This is all probably just an elaborate--

Ouch! Molly, help me! Make her stop hitting me!

Heehee!

I'm coming, Melvin!

Sailor Mercury Says--wait, I'm not Sailor Mercury yet! Mercury, Star, Power! Sailor Mercury Says: Excuse me! Please be quiet!!! Thank you.

Oh, sorry. You were talking?

Hurry, Melvin! Run away from here before she realizes that you're gone.

Hey, come back here, dweeb!

Now that I have everyone's attention, I think that the voice changing is part of the Negaverse's elaborate plan to steal energy.

How are we supposed to do the closing Sailor Moon Says, without Sailor Moon?

I'll do it. Sailor Jupiter Says: If your voice changes, beware! Someone you know is from the Negaverse!

Originally aired: Saturday, March 22, 1997

Episode 4: "Dumber"

Wow! It's the 29th already!

Duh! That's what it says above us! (Well, it did before Gemini6Ice changed everything.)

I was just making a point that it is the 29th!

Well, you didn't need to!

Yes, I did!

You are so stubborn!

It takes one to know one!

Know one what?

A stubborn!

*Sigh* I call upon the power of Mars, Fireballs, Charge!! Help me to vanquish this stupidity!

Teehee!!

It didn't work!

Stupidity was all she had! And I killed it! Now she has nothing! What have I done?!?

Help me guys! I'm doing a crossword!! I need a four letter word for "Sailor blank"!

Moon!

Moon? Bwahahaha!! How funny! Oh, yeah, moon...

We have to save her! She's getting dumber and dumber!

But what do we do?

Take me to Zordon and Alpha!

Uh-oh! She's mixing up what show she's on!

Meatball head! Haw-haw!

We'll have to wrap this one up now!

Sailor Moon Says: *Snort* Heeha! Bwaha! *Snort* Ho-ha-hee!

Originally aired: Saturday, March 29, 1997

Episode 5: "When Authors Attack"

You know what we realized?

That someone might be taking this page seriously!

And if you are, don't!

This page is completely paridous!

Is that a word?

Searching my mini-computer's database... No!

Sailor Moon Says: Don't say words that don't exist!

We can't end it yet!

Why not?

It's too short!

Well, Gemini6Ice needs to finish "Muffin Mania" so that we can star in another story!

Really, Raye! Would you rather be in a serious story that people will read or this thing?

Yeah, I guess this Sailor Says page is pretty crummy--hey! What's happening?

Gemini6Ice erased her!

But why?

She said what a crummy place this--hey!

Now she's gone!

It's Sailor Molly to the rescue! With her sidekick...*Ahem* Her sidekick!!...

Sorry... Tuxedo Melvin!!

Our heroes!!!

In the name of the planet Molly, I will punish you!

What's going on here? They're attacking me?!?

No, not you, the eraser on your pencil!

*Sigh* Oh, well, this will do for a storyline, I guess...

Molly, Hair-Berets, Surround!!

You killed the pencil! Yay!

Sailor Moon Says: When your characters that are on a sheet of paper come to life and try to attack your pencil, be very afraid!

Originally aired: Saturday, April 5, 1997

Episode 6: "A Big Fight"

We're back!

So am I!

Today, Sailor Mercury will fight Sailor Molly!

Don't tell them!

Tell who?

The people reading this.

I didn't know people actually read this!

Sure they do! Because we're funny!

Yeah, don't forget what happened to Raye last week when she said something rude!

Her nose grew?

That's Pinnochio..

Ooh, where? I love Pinnochio!

She's hopeless...

Am not!

Are too!

Am not!

Are too!

Am not!

Are too!

Am too!

Are not! Hey, wait a minute!

Haha! Gotcha!

If they continue arguing, there won't be enough time for Mercury and Molly's fight.

Let's just tune them out, and ignore them, okay?

Agreed. You won't have to listen to them argue, kiddies!

Kiddies?

Like kids don't watch the show!

Adults do, too!

More kids do than adults!

Do not!

Did I hear "donut"?

No!

Stop yelling at me! Wahhhhh..

You are such a crybaby!

Am not!

Are too!

I thought you were supposed to tune them out!

I did!

Than why can we still hear them?

Am not!

Are too!

We weren't able to keep them tuned out because of this argument you've started!

Am not!

Me?!? You started it!

Are too!

Did not!

Am not!

Did too!

Sorry we're late! Hi, Melvin!

Are too!

Did not!

Am not!

Did too!

Oh, hi, I'm afraid you won't be able to have your fight today.

What exactly is going on, Melvin?

Why not?

Are too!

Did not!

There has been a change in plans: the others are fighting.

Am not!

Did too!

Oh, well, this thing was getting long anyway.

Have a seat, and enjoy the show!

Let's wrap this thing up, already.

I don't think Serena is ready for the Sailor Moon Says, today.

Then we'll do it!

Okay!

Ready?

Are too!

Did not!

Am not!

Did too!

Sailor Mercury--

--Sailor Molly--

--and Tuxedo Melvin--

--say: Don't let silly stuff keep you and your friends from being friends, or knock others out of the spotlight!

*Grumble, grumble*

Are too!

Did not!

Am not!

Did too!

We say: *Sigh*

Originally aired: Saturday, April 12, 1997

Episode 7: "Singing Along"

It's late, I'm tired! Let's go home Luna!

Luna isn't here. Gemini6Ice hasn't found a head pic for her yet!

Oh.

What do we do today?

A sing-a-long!

I love sing-a-longs! Jingle bells, jingle bells...

I wannna sing about me! Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight!

Let's sing a song by Alan and the Cardigans!

Cardigans are, like, totally cool sweaters!

She probably meant Cardians!

Jingle all the way! Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh! Hey!

Never running from a real fight! I am the one named Sailor Moon! I will never turn my back on a friend!

Will somebody shut them up? Sheesh!

Dashing through the snow... On a one-horse open sleigh, over the fields we go, laughing all the way!

Hahahahaha!

I forgot the rest!

Me too!

Cardigans! That reminds me! I've, like, gotta go totally mall-trolling! Like, I'm outee!

Mina. you sound like a valley-girl!

I am a valley-girl! I'm outee!

Why do I only get two whole lines?

I dunno. Hey, how you doin', Lita?

Um, Lita?

Melvin, she only gets two lines this time, so she cannot answer, and I only get one, so I have to say all I need to say in this one line, and say 'bye!' *Gasp* *Pant*

I'm always there to defend! I'm the one a moon you can depend! I am the one named Sailor...

Does this pink blouse go with these shoes? Oh, yeah, sorry: Sailor Venus, Venus, Venus...

Sailor Mercury!

I'll substitute for Raye and Lita: Sailor Mars, Mars, Mars... Sailor Jupiter!

Secret powers come from into her--Is this how it goes?--She is the one named Sailor Moon! Nah-nah-nah-doop-de-bop-deep!

You don't have sing along with the guitar, Serena!

Sailor Moon Says: On car trips, instead of asking "Are we there yet??" every five minutes, sing a really annoying sing-along-song!!!

Originally aired: Saturday, April 19, 1997

Episode 8: "Making the Band"

I've got my own band!

Ooooh! Alan has a baaand!!

What do you play, Alan?

The flute, right? Just like me!

Um, yes, I do play the flute.

But Melvin doesn't! He strangles it!

I thought she was erased..

Who is she?

What do you mean you don't know who I am? Is your stupidity overpowering you again?

He was talking about Raye.

I was not!

Who was talking about me?

I am not stupid! Don't call me that! Waaah!

Sorry we're late! The line at the new Tokyo Skatium took forever!

They're always late!

I said he was talking about her, not you!

Well, I knew he wasn't talking about me.

You are so bratty!

We are not!

Who's always late?

I wasn't talking about you!

Well, duh! I'm never late!

Yes you are!

She is not bratty!

Thank you, Amy.

I meant Serena, Raye!

What did you say about me, Ames?

Serena-Raye? Who's that?

I said that you weren't bratty!

No, I said that she's late, sometimes.

Who is?

Does that mean I am?

I didn't say that!

Can I join your band, Alan? I'm confused, here!

You'll have to wear a cardigan, Mina.

Why?

Well, you should!

What kind of answer is that?

I was talking to Amy!

Because my band is called "Alan and the Cardigans!"

I should what?

No, Alan's mine, Mina! I want him!

I think this is the gag this time!

What?

He's mine!

Could you please stop playing tug-of-war with my arms, ladies?

You have Darien!

You have all of Lita's old boyfriends!

What?!?

Tell us!

So? They all look the same!!

Well, Alan has super-powers!

Please let go of me!!

You can have her old boyfriends!

You can have Darien!

But I want my old boyfriends!

Both of you can join my band!

Cool! I get the keyboard!

I'm a backup singer!

*Sigh*

Sailor Moon Says: Love me! Love me! Say that you love me!

*G-flat, B, D, F-sharp*

Fool me! Fool me! Go on and fool me!

Originally aired: Saturday, April 26, 1997

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